HOT CARL!

January 19, 2007 at 5:59 pm (Uncategorized)

quick background info –

Hot Carl is also a defined here: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Hot-Carl

I like the tube sock definition best.

there’s a guy who is a morbidly obese version of Carl Winslow, who works within my building.  We have nicknamed him “Hot Carl”

Hot Carl was seen and overheard speaking to people at 8 AM, using the corporate blackberry, stating the phrase, “don’t you worry, I’ll handle the press on that, consider it done”

Therefore, Hot Carl must be semi- important.

Hot Carl also looks like a fat slob, and every time i see him, he has some form of food remnance on his face.

that is the background info, now I bring you a conversation through work IM’s:

Me          whats your problem with Hot Carl?

Co-worker          frankly kyrish, he scares me.

Co-worker          :/

Me          HC?

Me          why

Me          he’s a walking demi-god.

Me          if we were in Greek and roman times

Me          he’d be comparable to Circe or maybe even a Minotaur.

Co-worker          yes, perhaps

Co-worker          the only good thing about being his friend would be if we ever got stranded somewher

eCo-worker          we can feed on him for weeks

Me          hahahahah

Co-worker          lol

Me          personally, I think hanging out with hot Carl would be a good thing

Me          he’d know where all the good places for food are

Me          in Asia he’d be seen as a rich man

Me          and he bares a striking resemblance to Carl Winslow,

Me          so technically, every day is Halloween.

Me          which means he must get showered with gifts made of sugars and coated in chocalatey goodness.

Me          which explains his rather unique proportions.

Co-worker          ok but do you know how much harder your car would have to work to drive around to all these good places to eat

Me          who said I would drive?

Co-worker          doesn’t matter the car breaks down and you’re in it.. You both will have to walk to get help (assuming he ate the phones bc he was hungry). He’d eventually pass out and you’d have to carry him the rest of the way

Co-worker          good luck.

Me          not at all.

Me          firstly, he has a number of phones

Me          I saw this

Co-worker          lol I want to be showered with gifts made of sugars and chocalatey goodness

Me          so even if he were to eat his black berry

Me          for obvious reasons

Me          he has a back up.

Me          secondly, a guy like him must be connected in some way to a hospital, as it is very possible that he would need emergency assistance at any moment

Co-worker          hahahah

Me          thirdly, I’ve never ridden in a helicopter before

Me          and in conjunction with the last statement regarding the hospital

Me          we’d have to be heli-vac’d over to a hospital.

Co-worker          hhahaahah

Co-worker          im dying

Co-worker          I mean.. r u even picturing how awesome that would be

Me          you KNOW I am.

Me          the negatives would be riding in elevators with him.

Me          that’s the only thing that could be a negative

Me          but even then

Me          I took that chance.

Me          and sure, maybe you wont win a three-legged race with him as co-pilot, either

Me          but it will NEVER be your fault.

Co-worker          maybe he should go to Asia then.

Co-worker          at least maybe he can train with that kid who always wins the Nathan’s hotdog contests

Co-worker          study how one can eat so much without reaping any consequences

Me          he doesn’t need training.

Me          he’d be a 2:1 odds sumo wrestler

Co-worker          you’re right, one might say he has a master black belt in eating

Me          do you know how well Sumo wrestlers get treated in Japan?

Co-worker          lol

Co-worker          just as well as the normal fatties

Me          no, my simple, uncultured friend…

Me          the Sumo Wrestler is an athlete.

Me          he gets paid to eat and push people around

Me          people enjoy his sloth.

Co-worker          he can be the black yoko ono (sp?)

Me          the Sumo wrestler gets free meals, they are easily recognizable, and they get High-fives all the time

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