obsessed with Fantasy Football?

August 31, 2006 at 11:43 am (Sports rants)

I’m absolutely certain that fantasy football has taken off primarily because of all us cubicle-dwelling saps who need something to talk about at work.

I don’t think i’ve ever seen commercials for Fantasy football prior to this year, but these ones  are just too funny. (click the videos on the right)

anyway, people who drone on, day in and day out, about the weather, about how much (or how little) work we have to do, or about totally un-important issues like staining decks, fattening up kids, buying $1500 earings for girlfriends, or whatever the case may be, now have something to do and talk about.  Monday’s can be spent talking smack about what happened on Sunday, and how your team is “destined to win” because of the lead you currently have, and Tuesdays are spent complaining about how, in some miraculous turn of events, Tatum Bell rushes for 26 yards on 1 carry in the closing minutes of the Monday night game, to cause you to lose by 0.5 points to the other fantasy team (true story.)  Wednesday might be the only day where you are not discussing fantasy football, but I highly doubt that.  Might be considerring trades on wednesday, or hoping your waiver-wire acquisition of Samkon Gado might actually propel you into “elite status” among your fantasy bretherens.

Thursday is the day the injury report comes in.  Is Tom Coughlin claiming Tiki is doubtful, just to confuse the other team, and of course, making you shit your pants?  Will Coughlin try to pull a rope-a-dope maneuver, which sends you scurrying to your computer 5 minutes before kick-off?

Fridays, of course, bring on the traditional trash talk.  “Damn straight, Jerious Norwood’s gonna come through like hell on wheels, MOFO!” or “don’t you worry, LJ will break his leg tommorow when he faces Kimo Von Oelhoffen”

Which then brings you to the weekend.

Truly very grand.

God forbid your team sucks it up because you had Jamal Lewis AND Daunte Culpepper on your squad last year, with Javon Walker as your main Wide-out.



  1. Rich said,

    Well, if that is the case then I should be king. Because, lets face it. I have the best team in our league. And the fact that you are trying to rebute that is just sad. Totally sad.

  2. kyrish said,

    trying to rebute what? the way i see it, Richard, youre team will be smoted. I shall smite you so hard and so viciously, you will be inclined to pick up Samkon Gado AND Jerious Norwood off the waivers, hoping that they will help you afterwards.

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