let FATTIES eat CAKE

August 17, 2006 at 3:28 pm (Relating to Work)

yeah, another fatty moo-cow cake meeting today.

This one was SPECIAL, though.

Tommorow is officially B-smoove’s last day. 

If you don’t recall who B-smoove is, FOR SHAME!

my company hd a contract with another company to send over IT consultants, all of whom are Indian. 

There is Swapnil, aka “Swappy,” who truly is a hater.  Dude talks all this smack about junk, always looks like he’s going to have an embolism, and always seems to be shouting.  Word on the street is, he’s played out like a lou diamond phillips movie.  None of the “uppity folk” (known as my bosses) like him.  We’ve seen him as “the pusher.”  He also holds umbrella’s for B-smoove.

 And he looks like a duck.

Then there is Nitin, aka “N-bomber.”  He get’s his nickname because he farts and burps a LOT at his desk.  he’s 40, like 5’6″, maybe 150 lbs.  and REEKS something fierce.  Desiree, who sits next to him, had to buy a glade plug in. Rich and I are convinced that N-bomber goes home, walks around in a stainded wife beater and boxers, drinks massive amounts of alcohol, and shoots his gun at the ceiling while yelling at his wife.  I’m willing to bet he would burn his wife to death if she makes a bad dinner.

There’s YRD (no kidding, thats his first name) aka “the YERD.”  Turns out, The YERD has been here the longest out of them all.  That establishes him as an OG.  very quiet, very passive.  Probably lays his pimp-hand down at home, after he berates his wife for making “sub-standard chicken curry” 

We’re not even going to talk about “steven,” aka SVS, aka Sweater Vest Steve.  Everyone hates on him.  he’s now on the same level as Jughead from Archie comics.

And finally, we commence with Bipin, aka B-smoove.  There is absolutely no question that this man is truly the pimp of all pimps.  Just listening to him speak, the way he carries himself, and hte way he’s so calm and collected when there’s any issues, just shows you how deep his pimpdom goes.  He’s the guy who undoubtedly has bed more women than Wilt Chamberlain.  He’s the guy who you KNOW has herom’s.  He is the ring-leader of this indian squad, and that is how it always will be.

Now that i’ve given you a brief character description, I bring you to the main course.  We are sitting at the conference table, where O.B. tells B-smoove, “you should probably put your cell phone to vibrate during meetings.”  Smoove casually says, “No, it’s the venga boys, now.”

but the story does not end there, good people…. O.B. then states, “you must be a surgeon at your other job, I dont know anyone who gets more calls then you!”

my immediate thoughts:  Thats because he’s a pimp, and you’re a big herb.

then Someone else asks, “does your wife call you a lot?”

“No, my wife knows better than to call my cell phone.”

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN KID.

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1 Comment

  1. Rich said,

    Man, smoove is gone and I missed it. I will forever remember him for being the man who matched his sunglasses with his shirts. He was a good man and I will never let myself get over the fact that I never said the proper good bye to him.

    Forever Smoove, 1 Love

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