things that upset me at my cubicle while i ponder life’s meanings

August 14, 2006 at 1:43 pm (Relating to Work)

our internet connection is so terribly poor, that I have typed this on MS Word, and will attempt to publish this numerous times with no avail.  Time of writing: 11:05 AM. Time of post: TBD.

With the internet down, it is virtually impossible to do a lot of things work-related.  My systems are Accounts Payable ELECTRONIC EXCHANGE.  Without the exchanging of electronics electronically, we are unable to have any accounts paid.  Electronically.

And with that, as a sub-context, is the flagrant misusage of the internet.  I have yet to read a full article at ESPN.com, as it has been loading for well over 20 minutes.

So I sit here, at my desk, ponderring lifes most ambiguous and ubiquitous questions.

Does living generally constitute breathing, eating, sleeping, and reproducing?  If so, what about insomniacs, anorexic’s, or the infertile?  Wouldn’t THEY truly be human’s handicapped?

Is the meaning of life to enjoy it, or to leave a mark in the world?  Either which way, it makes no difference to you when you’re worm-food.

Do you realize life’s cycle? the dead are worm-food, which we use as bait (fish food) and when we hook a fish, we eat it. (human food.)  Does this mean by law of Modus Tolens (if a > b, and b > c, then a > c) That we are cannibalistic?

what is the speed of smell?  If you fart, you usually hear it first.  What if it’s a silent fart?

Who really did let the dogs out?  More importantly, did they let the dogs out to defocate, or did they let them out to run away from their poor treatment?  If either was the case, shouldn’t we be glad that the dogs were left out, anyway?

And most important of all, why have we not figured out the answer to how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?  That commercial is almost 20 years old, i’m sure there must be SOME research on this….

Addendum: I have tried posting this for almost an hour, its 11:56 AM.  I went to the large window in the hallway, and this fat woman in a bright green shirt was talking on her cell phone to her husband, determining what they were going to eat for dinner.  My immediate thought was, “God, I wish i could kick her really hard, square in the back, Just to see her go through that window.  I’d bet it would make a pretty cool sound.”

Now you people should understand how important the internet is.  It keeps your sanity.

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