Maurice Clarrett – inmate# 9782321

August 9, 2006 at 10:12 am (Sports rants)

It was reported this morning that Maurice Clarrett, once a College Freshman STANDOUT Running Back from Ohio State, whom, if you all haven’t heard by now, dropped out of school immediately after his freshman year on misdemeanor falsification on a police report, then tried to sue the NFL because of its draft rules of eligibility (and lost,) has now been arrested on yet another charge. 

COLUMBUS, Ohio — Maurice Clarett was arrested early Wednesday after a highway chase that ended with police using Mace on the former Ohio State running back and finding four loaded guns in his truck, a police spokesman said.

Officers used Mace to subdue Clarett after a stun gun was ineffective because the former Fiesta Bowl star was wearing a bullet-resistant vest, Sgt. Michael Woods said.

“It took several officers to get him handcuffed.”

Was he going to war?  Was he trying to save Morpheus?  What the HELL does a former Running back turned armed-robber need a BULLET PROOF VEST and 4 LOADED GUNS for?

I see two scenarios happening over here…

First one being a real-life facsimile of “The Longest Yard” Where he becomes the star Running Back of the Ohio all-prison team.

Second scenario: “The Cincinatti Bengals have posted bail and have signed Maurice Clarrett to a 5 year, 15 million dollar deal.  The Bengals then celebrated by cleaning out the closest Guns-N-Ammo store, shot up a near-bye liquor mart, all while raping and pillaging a small city outside of Cincinatti.  And as a side note, the Cincinatti Bengals have changed their uniforms from Black and Orange to Black and White stripes.  player numbers will now be 8 digits, as opposed to the usual 2, and any player who fumbles will get 6 days in the hole.”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: