Fatty Moo Cows part Deux

June 26, 2006 at 9:03 am (Relating to Work)

to see original post, click here  (HILARIOUS, trust me)

Well, anyway, I get to work today, open up the fridge, and i've got my allotment of approximately 2 square inches with which to put my meal, soda, and nutrition bar, so i'm re-arranging, juxtaposition-ing, and basically playing 3-D tetris with fatty food items.  Guess what I see taking over basically the entire bottom rack?

A FUCKING CAKE.  THESE SLOTHS WANT TO EAT ANOTHER FUCKING CAKE??

As Rich pointed out in his blog here, these office people needed an excuse from their shitty lives to get together and divulge just how shitty their life really is.

Excerpt: "Usually it is the same old dreck, with co-workers talking about APEX and how they hate the East Team, wives who get promoted or just having your barn painted constitutes a round of applause."

So these fat heifers had cake on Friday.  But this isn't leftover cake.  NOOOOOOOOO, this is a whole OTHER cake.  Because 1 helping of cake is not enough.  Apparently Friday's cake was a WHOLE FUCKING SHEET, AND THAT WASN'T ENOUGH. 

Note: NO LEFTOVERS FROM THE FUCKING SHEET CAKE ARE IN THE FRIDGE RIGHT NOW.  This means these FAT SHITS took the leftover 1/2 sheet of cake to their morbidly obese kids, and their grotesquely obese other halves, probably so they can feel better about themselves.  "Ooh, look, fatty kids, I brought you home some cake, to make up for the fact that I'm a terrible mother because i'm so engrossed in the suckitude that is my life.  And my husband, my ugly, dimwit husband, how are you!?! Let me present you with cake, to make up for the fact that we haven't screwed in 2 years, primarily because I'd rather sleep then engage in the 3 minutes of porking."

Anyway, back to my aggression for this morning… ANOTHER FUCKING CAKE IS IN THE FRIDGE.  Do you know what the writing is on this cake?  No, it's not another birthday.  It says, "Congrats Go Live BMA II"

For those of you who don't know what that means, (all of us) It's basically some project that a group of these people were working on, that seems to be working.

But what I'm getting at is that these people are CELEBRATING WORK.  That's like throwing a giant PARTY in the middle of the grocery store because Jimmy from Aisle 2 was able to arrange the bread alphabetically.  Or another example would be getting a fucking cake because your son was able to hit the ball off the tee-ball stand, even though it sort of rolled five feet ahead.  Or maybe even,"hey dad, guess what?  I took a dump in the potty today!"

"GOOD FUCKING JOB, SON! NOW LETS EAT CAKE!"

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1 Comment

  1. Nick Shirriah said,

    Man you need some counseling and a blowjob

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