reading at the office bathrooms

June 8, 2006 at 1:07 pm (Relating to Work)

ok, I know that as of late, I've been commenting about poops all the time. 


Deal with it.

One of my co-workers took his book into the bathroom today.  I've done it before as well.  Whats the big deal with this?

"Oh my gosh!  you guys actually take your books into the bathroom?"

"DUH.  Most of the best thoughts and reading gets accomplished while dropping a deuce."

Reading while on the john is a great experience.  You learn more information based on whatever book you are reading, and it is some great quality time to catch up on things.  And no one really knows you are reading while IN the stall, as opposed to IN the cubicle, where someone could just sneak up on you that one time I was reading my Ninja Book instead of doing work.

(go ahead, read that last part again.  No, it wasn't poorly written, you have to imagine me speaking this… Like an allusion to something i did prior.  True story.)

now for those of you that READ the Davinci Code,  you would recall that Jacques Saunierre practiced those weird sex acts because in pagan theory, when an orgasm is achieved, for a few seconds, the human's mind is free, and could communicate with god.

Could the same not be said when one drops a stink-bomb in the porcelain bowl?

I mean really…

Say you just dropped Eddie Winslow off at the pool.  Not small nerdy Urkel, mind you, but a full-sized Malcolm Jamal Warner… Of COURSE you'd be relieved.  Why wouldn't you be able to argue that the experience alone isn't a way of freeing your mind from random ubiquitous thoughts, and give you momentary clairvoyance ?

( here:   you can look up those big words i chose to use, not out of necessity, but done so surreptitiously that it makes me seem extremely facetious.  The fact that I choose to use these words amidst a discussion about poops, only makes it more hilarious, in my opinion.)

I say to hell with office tact.  If i wish to read a book in the john, so be it.  If I want to walk around barefoot because i'm tired of wearing my good shoes because of office clothing restrictions, so be it.  I walked in with them, why can't that be good enough?

ok, after all that is said and done, I think it might be time for me to get back to reading.

In the bathroom.


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